For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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