I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
