I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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