would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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