it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
they're like a gay fantastic four
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
