Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
