i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
