i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
