i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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