I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
