I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
