I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
