My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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