Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize