Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
