He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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