Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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