piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
