Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
