he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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