Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
