not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
