It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
