It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize