don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
