it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My ass is underappreciated
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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