Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
