Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize