operation harelip BJ is a go
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
