It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
