I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
