I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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