Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
