Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
