Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
