worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize