Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
