We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
