Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
