Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
