Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
