Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
