So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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