Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
