As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
