There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize