you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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