So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
