Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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