His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
