Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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