So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
