Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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