didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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