i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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