She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
