I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
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