Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
