just come out here and I will go home with you...
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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