Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
do herpes really smell.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
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