I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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