i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
