Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
