He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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