ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
