Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
