Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
