someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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