her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
