He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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