so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
