Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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