"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
