Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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