so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
