Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
If I die, sorry about rent.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize