You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
