u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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