Whod you bang
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
A bitchslap is in order.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
